Jimmy Carter and False Eliza Dushku

Jimmy Carter almost killed me last night. The dream was rather complex, but the punch line was Carter driving this impossibly huge tractor. I managed to get myself in front of the blades of the plow. I was yelling, "Stop! Stop!"

Carter was yelling, "Where are you?" but he wasn't stopping.

Then I woke up with a jolt of fear. I realized it was only a dream and chuckled at it before going back to sleep.

The next dream that I can remember found me at the local truck stop / gas station / convenience store. There was this young woman there who was wearing a translucent white t-shirt over a black bra--an outfit obviously intended to attract attention. I was giving her some, and realized that she looked remarkably like Eliza Dushku.

I decided to get closer to see if it was really she. It wasn't, but she noticed me looking closely at her. The young woman started talking about how politicians in office are simultaneously party leaders. She walked me back to my car and told me to have a nice day.

I get dissed even in my sleep.

Something to be Grateful About

I'm grateful that I'm not a dead alcoholic. Given my nervous system, I could easily have been one of those folks who self-medicate to death. I realized this at a young age, so as it is, I don't drink at all.

Sappy Love Ballad

I've been too long a man contented with near solitude,
But somehow you have changed my solitary attitude.

Most persons make me feel a bit annoyed and out of place,
But you are one whose presence always graces empty space.

Just reading in the den while sitting quietly with you
Is satisfying in a way I seldom before knew.

There is a hole within my life that you uniquely fit,
And all the world is brighter, dear, when you are filling it.

And groaning 'neath the morning glare while trying to get stable
Is rendered almost tolerable when you're across the table.

The drudgery of this life has never given me much pride,
But chores get kinda fun when we can do them side by side.

I've not become the man that I once dreamed I'd someday be,
But you fulfill my biggest dream by being here with me.

There is a hole within my life that you uniquely fit,
And all the world is brighter, dear, when you are filling it.

***************************************************

It's not inspired by anyone. It's just some song lyrics, alas.

Sunder Our Lives

[Sung to the tune of "Sundown" by Gordon Lightfoot.]

Take a look who's on the stage with his Power Point
As he tells the true believers time is out of joint.

Sunder our lives with your lies
As you tell us that the world's in a sharp decline.

Sunder our lives with your lies
As you tell us that the world's in a sharp decline.

Control is best maintained when the sheep are scared,
So he'll assure all the peons they must keep aware.

Sequence our lives to your whims
As you tell us that the sky's going to fall again.

Sequence our lives to your whims
As you tell us that the sky's going to fall again.

He can make a tidy windfall of some ill-gained gelt
When he helps the U-M-C feel some faddish guilt.

How can you be without shame
When you use your position to corrupt the game?

How can you be without shame
When you use your position to corrupt the game?

Well, his lecture's been received and earned a healthy net,
So he'll head home to his mansion on his private jet.

Sunder our lives with your lies
As you tell us that the world's in a sharp decline.

Sequence our lives to your whims
As you tell us that the sky's going to fall again.

How can you be without shame
When you use your position to corrupt the game?

How can you be without shame
When you use your position to corrupt the game?

The Possum Song (Reminds Me of Someone I Know)

Being stupid and ugly will get you no mercy
Even though you were born that way.
You walk with a waddle,
And snarl when you're startled,
And your hair is drab off-white and gray.

Chorus
Being a loner with nocturnal musings
Is not such a swell way to go.
Sometimes our paths, though, are not of our choosing,
Which reminds me of someone I know.

The kindness of strangers is highly unlikely
When you look like a gigantic rat.
Instead of a handout
You're forthwithly ran out
By a guy with a baseball bat.

Being a loner with nocturnal musings
Is not such a swell way to go.
Sometimes our paths, though, are not of our choosing,
Which reminds me of someone I know.

And so you get cagey and hide in the daylight
And start sniffing around in the night.
And then for your trouble
You're smacked with a shovel.
We opossums had better hang tight.

Being a loner with nocturnal musings
Is not such a swell way to go.
Sometimes our paths, though, are not of our choosing,
Which reminds me of someone I know.

An Observation

Children, once they are housebroken,
for a brief time
make excellent house pets,
but then they turn nasty,
much like raccoons.

That's Our George

I had a freaky dream. I don't remember all of the details, but I had George W. Bush's dismembered body stored in a cooler (ice chest) in a cabin in the woods. I remember worrying about the best way to dispose of the corpse, including feeding it to dogs.

(No, I'm not making a veiled threat about the soon-to-be-ex-president of the USA. I really had that dream.)